Jennica Grienke!

James Avramenko: 0:00

This episode of Friendless is presented by the Saskatchewan Podcast Network. My sweet babies I'm back, your host, James Avramenko. And this is Friendless, the only show about me losing all my Facebook friends, one hour at a time. This week, I have a very special holiday wrap up extravaganza. But that of course, I mean, I got drunk with my wife and recorded our chat. That's right back by popular demand is Jennica Grienke aka, the wife. We talk about the best and worst Christmas gifts, lifelong regrets, but the Molson Lite kind, reliving moments like Scrooge and our most selfish wishes for the season. Wow, that's a hard sentence to say. It's a ton of fun. I mean, look, I always love talking to my sweet wife. I think you're gonna love the episode. But how about this, listen to it to find out if I'm right. Also, stick around to the end of the show for an update on what 2021 has in store for Friendless all my schemes and plans to get 10s more fans of the show 10s more. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be a great year. But that of course, is then this is now so for now. Let's just jump right into my chat. My favorite person in the world Jennica Grienke here on Friendless. All right, and I am recording with the most specialist guests of the year. I was gonna give you all kinds of intros. I was gonna say She's the reason for the season. The Dame who can't be tamed the broad with all the claws. Clod? It's my sweet wife.

Jennica Grienke: 2:06

What's up? I need to get like one of those entrance taglines like they have in the real housewives like the grand Daum doesn't blah blah blah. Like I maybe a professor but I can read you like a scripture

James Avramenko: 2:24

is that like, is that like in Geordie Shore when they're like I'm a I'm a Geordie girl looking to tash on.

Jennica Grienke: 2:31

A Geordie girl with a VIP edge.

James Avramenko: 2:35

I love to pull a bird! What would your Jordy short tagline be?

Jennica Grienke: 2:41

that's no fair. I need I need at least a week and a half.

James Avramenko: 2:45

My would be Keyman I'm weeing! So this is a really special holiday extravaganza. It is the rounding of the edges of the year.

Jennica Grienke: 3:04

It's the Much Music Wrap Up!

James Avramenko: 3:06

Exactly. It's the muchmusic wrapup episode! Although I haven't prepared any kind of retrospective I don't know any of the episodes I did I we can't do any of the actual like looking back on the year thing. But what we can do is we can say this is the last episode of 2020 and good fucking riddance. Do you honestly think 2021 is gonna be any different though?

Jennica Grienke: 3:33

No.

James Avramenko: 3:33

Yeah. You know, I'm listening to everybody being like, well, the vaccines gonna save us and I'm like, No, no, sweetie. Like, did you get a flu shot last year? Well, there's your fucking answer.

Jennica Grienke: 3:51

I'm sorry. But um, but yes, I am very worried because I think that you know you you talk about this all the time. So I'm giving credit to you James Avramenko. You always say like Taiwan and New Zealand. They did not wait for the vaccine to get this shit under control. There are gallery openings. There are theater openings.

James Avramenko: 4:15

Because they believe scientists, they listened to doctors. They wore masks and they socially distance and they wash their fucking hands. And they didn't fucking cough with their mouth open.

Jennica Grienke: 4:24

They didn't fucking tolerate this bullshit didn't tolerate it. Exactly. They were built on a sort of more socialist government. And I have to say like, it's very interesting to me to see the stigma around masks in North America. Because even like I went to Taiwan when I was 17 years old, which was 2004. And on a smoggy day. Everyone wore, they just threw their masks on. They had cute little masks, even back in oh four. I love them. It was nothing. It was no big deal. They're like look, we are a big population on a tiny little island. And there's lots of smog here with our climate. So in order to not breathe toxins all day, we wear masks Nbd.

James Avramenko: 5:08

you know two things real quick. One thing was, you know, that the Prime Minister of New Zealand still caught a lot of fuckin flack from her citizens. She just can't stand for it. She just didn't give a shit because she was like, fuck you farmers. We're gonna deal with this and we're gonna deal with it now. And then you're gonna be thanking me later when you have art galleries. That's what happened. And then the other side is like, I think that anti masters just don't appreciate how like what a good mask does for you. Like, like, for instance, you My sweet, kind, ever loving wife. You made me a mask just recently made out of fucking Power Rangers bedsheets, we found Power Rangers bedsheets, and we made them into a mask. And the best part is, it's like a double layered. It's got a little slot for a filter. Like, it's like it's the true blue. Like, it'll actually genuinely save me in. You know, if I go outside and some shithead coughs on me. And it's Power Rangers. So it's like, you fucking anti mask mouth breathers. Just get a good ass mask. Look at yourself in the mirror and go, Oh, yeah, this shit fucking fly as hell. Yeah, get yourself. Get yourself a mask that says Like, Trudeau sucks, you know? Yeah, right. You know,

Jennica Grienke: 6:27

And he does but, you know, things like we just have to face the fact that politicians don't have our best interests. They go, they have their best interests at heart. Yes, democracy is broken. And I don't know what to do about it. So I'm just gonna vote for people that are doing the things that I think are cool. And that to me was the NDP party this year, even though I know they painfully lost but I mean, and I love Jay true. I think he's beautiful. Yeah.

James Avramenko: 6:55

He's a honey. Yes.

Jennica Grienke: 6:56

He's a honey. I like to look at him. You know but, I don't like his policy. Yeah. And I, you know, would love to tell him that to his face one day.

James Avramenko: 7:08

So this is a special, this is a special year end episode. And, you know, I'm not doing any kind of retrospective because like I say, I came very unprepared. I was just really excited to talk to my wife, again, something that I do every day, almost all day, but I was really excited to record.

Jennica Grienke: 7:26

Me too. for the record.

James Avramenko: 7:28

Thank you. So we've added so so this this season, in season three, I've done this thing I've tried to really narrow down the focus of the questions, narrowed down the topics and really streamline what it is we're driving at per episode. And, you know, I personally feel like it's been a big success. And

Jennica Grienke: 7:50

And I personally agree.

James Avramenko: 7:53

Thank you my sweet wife, god I love you. But what I wanted to do for this episode was I wanted to put a little bit of a spin on that. And so we've prepared a couple of questions that we're going to ask back and forth in the same motif of season three questions, but with brand new, never before heard questions, never before prepared questions. We're gonna ask ourselves back and forth, and we're gonna just see what happens. And it's gonna be the 2020 Go fuck yourself extravaganza.

Jennica Grienke: 8:28

Oooh the Go Fuck Yourself Extravaganza!

James Avramenko: 8:34

So my sweet wife. Yeah. Do you want to get us started? We have prepared for question that we're gonna ask two each. Do you want to ask the first

Jennica Grienke: 8:47

Can I do I want to do a preface for these questions? Because I was feeling we were feeling introspective, but also we're, we're treating these like the Bud Light. Not the Bud Light lime, but the Bud Light versions of the question. So it is not like deep like it. We're not talking like, you know, just deep whiskey.

James Avramenko: 9:12

No, no, no, there's no bourbon here. I'm not crying tonight.

Jennica Grienke: 9:16

We're not talking. We're talking about some wine little bit of beer because we ran on the mind. If that kind of Bud Light level, the Molson light. I feel like since we're Canadian, Molson. Well, thank you. Yes, I needed that Molson lite version. So my first question what is your what is the regret you have in your life? LIte!

James Avramenko: 9:39

A light regret of my life?

Jennica Grienke: 9:41

Yeah.

James Avramenko: 9:43

Well, you know, I think for me, it's, I regret my fear of flying. Because Because you are somebody who is You are such a incredible traveler and and, and you're so brave, and you're So, for lack of a better word brazen, like you just fucking go, you know, like, Fuck, I mean even this year, like, in 2020, you were selected to go to New York to Philadelphia and to fucking Abidjan like, you went to Africa. And, and,

Jennica Grienke: 10:19

and then Paris

James Avramenko: 10:20

and then Paris on the way back, you know? And like, and you just went, you know and and and i just i, i regret my fear of flying not because I would have gone with you in any of those. Yeah. But but but even thinking about like, you know this time last year we were gearing up to fly to LA for Christmas, which turned out to be like one of like, other than like, my like my orphan Christmases with Matt Coulson and his family who used to take me in and like, bless that family. God, I love them so much. But other than like, those orphan Christmases, like last year's Christmas was probably the best adult Christmas I ever had, you know, but in the months leading up to it, I was so scared of traveling and so scared of flying. I almost didn't go, like I was so scared of flying that I almost didn't go and missed out on like, like, you know, you know, reconnecting with with Jocelyn and Brian, you know, the end was yours, you know, and like, and like God, I just like, I love them so much. And meeting Sophie, our little niece and like how important and special that that trip was. And, and I almost missed out on it because of a dumb fear of flying because one time we hit turbulence, and it was really bad, you know, and like, like, I regret allowing that fear to take to take hold of me and to really control my, my thought process on travel for the last couple years. And I'm really hoping, you know, I mean, like, the vaccine isn't gonna save us. But I am really hoping that in the coming years, we'll be able to travel more, and I'll be able to sort of confront that fear a little bit better and, and travel braver.

Jennica Grienke: 12:11

That is so interesting, because my I think that mine, I'm trying to keep it light. But I think that mind butts up against that it's not the same. I don't have a fear of traveling or flying or any of that. I guess sometimes I have that fear, but it's one of my like, more comfortable fears where like, I get over it. Like, I kind of feel the fear, but do it anyway, a lot of the time. But I think that I would I regret being dictated by finances.

James Avramenko: 12:43

Right.

Jennica Grienke: 12:43

I regret. Um, because I think, you know, we've both been artists and gigged so much of our adult lives. Also, we've been in secondary education, so much of our adult lives, that like between the two of us our accumulated debt and so on is quite, quite substantial. I guess from my experience, it's been like, when you graduate from a theater program, and then you have to try and pay your bills and your tuition back. Anyway, um, you're not really set up like a doctor or a dentist or a lawyer. Excuse me? I burped everyone, I'm so sorry.

James Avramenko: 13:26

Um, you monster.

Jennica Grienke: 13:28

So I guess I so I think this is my my one true regret actually in life. And I think I have tried to really live my life, releasing regret, because I just think like, I did the best that I could at the time.

James Avramenko: 13:46

It's very useless to regret things.

Jennica Grienke: 13:48

I really feel it's useless to have regrets. And I have felt this way for a long time. And I'm like, I'm not perfect. I fuck up. Try and accept yourself. Learn from it. do better next time and move on. And so I really do try to just live with no regrets knowing that I have been shitty. This is not to say I haven't been shitty, right? Um, but

James Avramenko: 14:11

everybody's been shitty. You got to accept that it's fine. You got to just like you said,

Jennica Grienke: 14:14

right? I'm not worried about worried about me. But it's like, because I Whatever. I'm a bit like I do believe a bit and karma and all that. So I try to do better. I try to give more than I get. All that being said, I feel like I've dictated my life around what I thought I could afford without thinking of seeking other options, seeing the bigger picture and I think that this year has allowed me to see the bigger picture. Because I have felt how even if I had a million dollars do I want to fly right now? No, I actually don't really feel that comfortable. But that might not always be the case, hopefully soon it will shift. Hopefully we'll get the numbers down, etc. But I guess I'm thinking, and I'm thinking very specifically of being an actor in Vancouver. And I had just finished my last big my last gig of the year. You know, it wasn't a big gig, but I had my last lined up gig. And my uncle passed away. And my uncle was really dear to me. But he wasn't really dear to a lot of a lot of my cousins, you know, and to be frank, it's sort of dark to say, but I loved him to bits and he loved me and he, we had just had a special bond, and he passed away. When I yeah, I was not. I didn't feel financially able to fly from Vancouver to Winnipeg for the funeral. And my family didn't feel financially able to fly me either. And so like, I couldn't just like say, Mom and Dad fly me back. And anyway, like, I really, really regret not maxing out my credit card on a flight and just going like I really do. I regret not being there. I think. I know that he knows. I feel that he knows. And I'm sorry, this is not truly Bud light. I'm trying you

James Avramenko: 16:21

You didn't get Molson Lite at all.

Jennica Grienke: 16:25

I got Guinness on y'all. I do. I do feel like there's not very many things I would I would I regret in this life, like, not many things have to make peace with and be like, no regrets, no regrets, but that's one of them. Like, because I really do feel. I wish I was there at his funeral to say a few words. And I wish I was there to almost to say like, fuck you to every one else in my family who was like, you know, good people can be alcoholics good people can be complete disasters, okay, in their lives and their marriages, everything and, you know, I he was like such a good uncle to me. Anyway, I just I love him to bits

James Avramenko: 17:06

that just made me think of, you know, that made me think of our first summer here and me missing. You know, I missed. I missed two of my groomsmen weddings. And that one hurts. That one's really hurts pretty bad. And I and I, I mean, I basically lost, you know, I lost one of those two friendships because of it. And, and while I may not think that that is necessarily the, you know, that may have more been the straw of a much larger camel's back. But I think that the, the regret of not being there, that one still hurts, you know, and, and I think that that idea of like, you know, money's dumb. Money's really dumb, and it sucks, how controlled we are by it. And it and I understand, like, I get it, it's the world we live in. It's the system we live within. I know that the rules that have been set up and

Jennica Grienke: 18:04

as artists especially.

James Avramenko: 18:06

yeah, but and it's like, like, I get that like, everybody can't just be willy nilly with it, I get that you can't, you can't, like it's not reasonable to say just get a credit card and max it out. Like because you might not be able to get a good credit limit on a credit card, you know, it's not reasonable to say that, but at the same time to I do wish more people would live with the attitude of like, life experiences is irreplaceable, in a way that credit and money, technically is.

Jennica Grienke: 18:36

Yeah, and like, fuck it. Like, honestly, that's you that that is the epitome of my regret. Yeah, like, just not saying fuck the money. Yeah. Like the money comes, money comes money goes where, like, and we feel this acutely, because we are like, I don't know what we are. We're technically in just above the poverty line.

James Avramenko: 18:59

I mean I make $16,000 a year. So like, let's say,

Jennica Grienke: 19:02

I know, I know

James Avramenko: 19:04

Let's say I'm not exactly raking it in.

Jennica Grienke: 19:06

Everyone seems to think of us as like rolling in the dough because I have a stable income. And I have a much better situation than I did before. And then many others do. And I'm very grateful for that. And I've worked hard to be where I am. But it's also just like one of those things where like, we do have friends and family who are like, I feel that sometimes I've limited myself and felt like I can have one of the four and not at all and I feel like I need to approach life going forward as I want everything I can get and just go for it. And I want you to go to like do your things and I want to do my things and fuck the money. Like I really just hate being dictated by the money that's really frustrating for me.

James Avramenko: 19:58

This is a genuine Molson Light and, and and I want it. I want it to not be caveated with vitriol to the gift giver. I want to just I just want to keep that in mind when I asked this question. It's not a comment on the gift giver. But I want to ask you, what is the worst gift you've ever received?

Jennica Grienke: 20:24

Okay, well, I've been thinking about this, and I feel bad, I feel badly. But the people that gave me the gift are not listening to this podcast, maybe their sons and daughters and my cousins. As it turns out, because I every year as a child growing up, got a religious novel about a young pioneer girl, like, who had to defend the farm or had to

James Avramenko: 21:01

Oh no.

Jennica Grienke: 21:02

like falling in love and not succumbing. So these books, I don't think I ever finished reading them, but they were like, I loved reading I love books. I loved getting gifts. So I was like, I even at the time, I was just like, always super, super grateful because I love getting gifts. And I just like Janet Oaks, I think is like a famous sort of religious Christian

James Avramenko: 21:29

I know that name.

Jennica Grienke: 21:30

Romance, sort of like when a Pioneer Girl falls in love kind of thing. Anyway, so I would get these books all the time from my aunts and uncles and I just felt like, Oh, you don't know me at all. But it's okay. And I have to just say like, I I don't think I can tell the story without saying that my father for I think it was his 50th birthday was gifted a DVD of love's enduring promise, which is I believe it is a dramatization of a Janet oaks book or something similar, starring. breakout star. Wait for it. January Jones,

James Avramenko: 22:19

No way!

Jennica Grienke: 22:20

It was her first feature film, and she was in this religious fucking DVD. We never opened the plastic.

James Avramenko: 22:26

I know. She has. She has the soft features of someone from

Jennica Grienke: 22:31

She has the soft dumb face of a religious person.

James Avramenko: 22:32

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like It's like, she's like soft around the eyes. And it's like, oh, somebody's inbred somewhere in there. Do you want to hear mine?

Jennica Grienke: 22:45

Yes.

James Avramenko: 22:46

So mine. Without fail My grandma always gave the best gifts. And I only found out long, long, long past when Christmas really mattered, that she basically got the best gifts because my mom would find out find out what I wanted. And then she'd tell my grandma to buy the most expensive ones on the list

Jennica Grienke: 23:09

as you do.

James Avramenko: 23:10

Yeah. And I and and bless all of them, you know, like, like, just bless them all for trying. And I'm just so grateful for them, you know, especially in that sort of window when Christmas really matters, like doing their absolute fucking damnedest to make it really special and make sure I got as much as much as I as much of what I wanted as I could, you know, and what they could afford. And I remember when I was in high school, there was a Christmas the very first Christmas in my life that I didn't spend with my grandma. My mom and stepdad decided that they wanted to not do Christmas that year and so we went to Tofino it sucked. I got food poisoning, and I it was awful. It was a terrible Christmas. And on top of that my mom didn't tell my grandma anything that I wanted, mostly most likely because I like didn't tell her because I was in like grade 10 or 11. And so it was like not cool to care about anything at that point. But um, the only thing my grandma got me that year was a travel pillow and like it and it was like we called it like it was like prison issue. It was this tiny little like felt square that like did it cover me at all, like barely covered but yeah, big guy. Yeah. And then this terrible pillow. And, and I just and I felt so bad. And I and I, I didn't feel bad about the gift. Like I wasn't like insulted by the gift. I felt bad about the gift and I felt I felt like I had sort of I really took in that I had sort of abandoned my grandma and I felt so bad about it. And so I mean, I really to this day I still harbor some fucking guilt about that one but, but that was far and away the worst fucking gift I ever got.

Jennica Grienke: 25:05

Okay, I want to break this. I want to shake this off. Yeah, break with convention. I want to ask you what your best gift was.

James Avramenko: 25:13

Okay. One year my grandma got me The It was called Oh my god, what was it called? It was called it was the WWF at the time. It was the WWF Titan Tron and what it was what it was, it was so cool. what it was, it was the entrance ramp to the ring, but it was this really cool thing where

Jennica Grienke: 25:38

to an action figure ring?

James Avramenko: 25:39

yes, it was it was a it was action figure rings. And and she even got me the ring too. So it was like so but what was so cool about the Titan Tron was you would get these specific kind of action figures and they had this little thing in their foot. It was like either a microchip or a little like magnet or something. And what would what would happen is they would walk through the entrance, and they would trigger a thing where their theme music would play. So literally, you'd get your Stone Cold Steve Austin, he'd walked through and it would go Ah, you know, and like, and so you're action figure walked through and and it was it was the greatest, fuck especially like, let alone all the hours and hours and hours of playtime afterwards. But that Christmas morning, setting that up and also I think like I think she got me like the Titan Tron and the ring and then like maybe two or three fingers so that it could work you know. And just like the novelty not only for myself, but for the whole family of like walking and actually triggering the music. God, it was incredible.

Jennica Grienke: 26:48

Okay, I have to respond with my own because I think it's very similar, which is I got the Barbie, the that owned her own shop. So she had her own conveyor belt and it wasn't really a grocery store thing, but it was like she had a price gun. And it came with all these sheets of barcode stickers. So you could like it was like an it came with like a little shop. So you had like a rack for her like little clothes and things and like shelves for things. And you could like you would scan items and you could like it would like it was I know it was a button that would press but it would like make the sound of checking out an item and scanning it and ringing it through. And I have to say like, I wanted this Barbie, that was the only thing I wanted. I just wanted this Barbie. I loved it so much. I played with Barbies nonstop as a caveat to this story. I love them played with them. I would play with them. Okay, it wasn't just gonna sit there and collect dust

James Avramenko: 27:46

Like you mean you'd...diddle them? I'm sorry.

Jennica Grienke: 27:51

I just wanted to say like, I would play with the toys that I got. I didn't just like get one thumb and then get them and ignore them.

James Avramenko: 27:59

Fuck no, I played. I played them till they were dead

Jennica Grienke: 28:02

they were shells of themselves. And so anyway, my parents took me to Walmart because that's where we went to buy things. And they were like, oh that Barbie $60 there's no way we can afford that. And they set like my parents are very honest with me. They're like there's no way we can afford it. But okay, you want to store Barbie, and there was a Walmart Barbie for like 12.99 and she was wearing the greeter vest. Oh, I know you're about to get all cute. And my parents are like, how about this Barbie instead? I said no. No, I'd rather not get any Barbie then. And oh, so I guess I guilted my parents. I have to say that I didn't get very many other presidents which is totally cool. super grateful. Yeah, I got that Barbie though. I got the cashier Barbie that I wanted. And I loved it because it was like I brought it to my grandparents house on my dad's side which is the cool grandparents and where my cool cousins and my cool aunts and uncles were and everyone was drinking too much baby duck and smoking and and they were all like show us again how the Barbie scans the thing. And so anyway yeah, it was just like such a beautiful Christmas because I had this doll I really wanted and all my family was really besotted with this doll that could scan items and like I remember my grandma bringing me like nuts and things and like glasses of wine and i would scan my family's booze. You know drink it and I just have all these lovely memories of them getting a little bit hammered as I know it now. red in the face as I knew it as a kid.

James Avramenko: 29:52

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Jennica Grienke: 30:25

So I have yet another question for you. Can you handle it? You are the weakest link goodbye!

James Avramenko: 30:34

I feel like finally, after like 15 minutes, I think I finally have the caveat that I'm wearing reindeer antlers. And so every once in a while, you're gonna hear a little bell.

Jennica Grienke: 30:46

And I feel like I have to caveat it after 15 minutes that I'm wearing a Santa hat that is completely silent. but I'm wearing it mutha fucka. so question three is if you had to ask for one selfish thing, what would it be? So this is not you can't cure anything. You can't solve anything for the world. It says to be purely for your own benefit. What do you

James Avramenko: 31:18

I want somebody to pay off my debt so badly. Oh, want?

Jennica Grienke: 31:21

So Jeff please. man, so fucking badly. Like, if somebody could just like, this is the thing, like, I owe a little under 20 grand, and you owe a little under 20 grand if somebody could just flip us like

James Avramenko: 31:32

Well yeah but there's more than that. Like $60,000 just so that we could get our, our, our debt down and a down payment on something like that would literally change our lives. So like that, you know, and it's like, you know, to me, 60,000 that's like, that's like, insurmountable, right? But there are people in this world who make that who have literally made that since I started this sentence, you know, like, like, there's there's other you know, there's there's a lot of wealth going around this world and there's a lot of wealth being hoarded in this world. And and the the way, the way that numbers to us seem big and to them seem insignificant is something that only they can change. You know, I don't I don't have the ability to change the value of $60,000. But they do. And so if somebody is listening to this and have a spare $60,000 Please, please, please, please. This is a bit of a you know what this feels like a little bit of a This feels like a Christmas one. This feels sort of like an almost an Ebenezer kind of moment in a way.

Jennica Grienke: 32:56

There's magic in the air this evening. Magic in the air!

James Avramenko: 32:59

Don't make me cry. Because that's more like, (doing Kermit voice) There's magic in the air this evening, magic in the air! and then he like what he's like, Oh my God, when Kermit is standing, staring up the stars and he's like, Huh, melt my heart. Oh, okay. If you could redo a moment in life. Which moment would that be?

Jennica Grienke: 33:27

Oh, wow.

James Avramenko: 33:31

Molson Lite.

Jennica Grienke: 33:32

Molson Lite! There's so many. This is a great this is actually more of a like, It's a Wonderful Life question because there's so many beautiful moments in my life.

James Avramenko: 33:41

I love you George Bailey. And I always will.

Jennica Grienke: 33:44

Merry Christmas Movie House! I dedicate that quote to Ricardo Alvarado and Jenna, who heard me say that every day for 30 days.

James Avramenko: 33:55

I hope they finally watched the movie.

Jennica Grienke: 33:58

I don't know. I'm not sure if it's too long of a story to tellon this podcast. But um, yeah, I guess there's so many I think the immediate ones that came to mind were probably like, all the entire summer when I first met you. Because there's like

James Avramenko: 34:20

Really?

Jennica Grienke: 34:21

fuck you. Um, there's no better feeling than falling in love and like, I think

James Avramenko: 34:26

Oh you mean to relive but not change anything?

Jennica Grienke: 34:29

Oh, yeah. No to relive, relive or redo.

James Avramenko: 34:32

Oh, see, I took it as like, what moment would you want a mulligan on but I was like, Oh, fuck you too?

Jennica Grienke: 34:42

No. Oh, shit. Well, okay, so I'll answer. I don't think I have an answer for the other one. But a little. I really like I will forever. Think about that summer. We first met and it was paradise. Yeah, I don't know. I was falling in love and Vancouver. I like had a life that I like

James Avramenko: 35:07

we both had jobs that we didn't give a shit about. We had that like freedom to just like leave it at the door.

Jennica Grienke: 35:14

Yeah,it was so good. It was like, I mean, it was so bad, but so good to, you know, I have one of the things I remember you saying the most is we got to get you out of there. We got there. And I was like, he's saying we like us like a team. no man ever wants to be my teammate. Like, that's so cool. And I love that. And it was like, yeah, it was just I just remember walking down commercial drive and grabbing my ass in public a bunch. And we went for terrible Greek food with my parents. who wre still married at the time.

James Avramenko: 35:54

That awful awful Greek food. And then forevermore for the rest of the year, we'd always say you want try that Greek place?

Jennica Grienke: 36:02

I know what is it Nico's?

James Avramenko: 36:03

Who cares? It's probably closed.

Jennica Grienke: 36:05

I think oh, sad. Anyway, that is I, um, I would love to relive that. I also caveat like, caveat, I don't know if that's the right word. But I would also like to relive our wedding day, which was like, I have never felt that high. And I've done a lot of drugs. And I've never felt that good. Like, that was amazing.

James Avramenko: 36:30

Yeah, I you know, I think if the question is a moment, you'd want to relive, it would definitely be my wedding day. Because my wedding our wedding day. Because it was it was a day that in the moment, I thought I was so viscerally there, I was so present, and I was so aware of everything. But in retrospect, I realized how much I actually missed out. And and I'd love to, I'd love to be able to go back and really experience that again. And to be able to Yeah, you know, because it's like, there was a lot of magic. I mean, that that was God, that was a fucking good day. Great. Pizza, the dancing. I wish I danced more, I kept on you were so lucky. You just danced and I kept on doing the rounds and seeing everybody and I still didn't, I managed to still piss off some of your in laws. So it was like

Jennica Grienke: 37:17

you did you did? I mean, we both did. I think it was the fact that we had had sex a lot before we got married. But it was, you know, that was a great wedding.

James Avramenko: 37:30

That in terms of if there was like, if there was a moment in my life, that I could go back and change. Like, that's a, that's a weird one, right? Because I do, I actually do think it's one of those, it's a wonderful life moments where it's like, you know, we're, we're in a funny spot, you know, like, like, you know, without going in too deeply into detail, you know, because I understand the situation we're in, but it's like, we're not necessarily in the best place. And we're not remotely in the worst place. But where we are, is we're together, and, and we're doing the best we can, and everything that came before us. got us here. So if we change something, we probably wouldn't be here. And and so I can't even really, I can't even really imagine, you know, changing this or that or the other thing, because then we wouldn't be here. And I really like being here.

Jennica Grienke: 38:33

Yeah,

James Avramenko: 38:34

it's something that I've been really, you know, I've been doing a lot of, you know, I've been doing, you know, I've been doing mantra meditation. And, you know, some people call it like, you know, TM, right, you know, it's Transcendental Meditation. But it's but it's, but it's, but it's, it's rooted in mantra, and it's rooted deeper into, you know, the concept of, you know, the whole thing about meditation in general is, is, you know, not to get too wanky with it, but it's like, the whole idea of just living presently. Right. And, you know, I say it in the podcast, you know, that's then this is now you know, like, it's not, it doesn't matter, you know, it doesn't matter what's coming, it doesn't matter what's been what matters is that you're living right now and you're experiencing what you're living right now because that's what's real, you know, and we don't, you know, we're not Tramalfalpha, Trafalmadorians, or whatever they are in slaughterhouse five, right? Oh, we don't we don't see our life as a grand Hill and tapestry. We we experience it moment to moment. And so we have to live as as earnestly and as viscerally as possible in the moment. And so I actually tryreally hard not to, you know, we've talked about it before, and we come back to again, I try really hard not to yearn too hard for the past. I try really hard not to want to go back too hard, because that ruins the moment that you're in, you know, and I end And something that I'm finding a lot of comfort in and a lot of real, I mean you know, for lack of a better word, transcendental beauty is realizing how visceral the present moment truly is, and how, how eternal it ends up being if you're actually living within it, you know? And that sounds so wacky, but really, you know, like, you know, two months of daily meditation. That'll, that'll, that'll Fuck you up man.

Jennica Grienke: 40:30

That's great. I feel bolstered by your answer.I think that's wonderful.

James Avramenko: 40:35

Well, we are at the end of our questions,

Jennica Grienke: 40:37

Well we shouldn't be this depressing when we're ending this Christmas special.

James Avramenko: 40:42

You know, it's so fun. You know, I've been doing this thing I've been doing this christmas advent calendar, the average advent calendar I've been writing everyday about Christmas and, and I, I actually have to fight my inclination I I often make this joke with, about how I sometimes accidentally, like I don't realize how cynical I sound until I've already said it. And then I listened back and I go, fuck, lighten up, you know. And because my gut, especially when it comes to Christmas, and when it comes to just winter in general, I actually have this deep, deep, nostalgic love and joy and excitement. And I love this season. And I love the vibrancy and the potential for for connection and excitement. And then I also also, you know, I also get bogged down by my own cynicism and my own reflex and coping mechanisms of of protecting myself, right and sort of like hunkering down and shelling up right, you know, and I'm trying really hard to fight that because like, this is a really fucked up holiday season. And everybody's having a really fucking hard time. And I hope anybody who's listening knows that like, yes, I'm technic. We're technically having, like a parasocial relationship right now. Or I'm just talking to you and you can't actually answer me. But like, whoever you are, I love you. And I really deeply hope, nothing but just joy and peace and love and happiness for you. You know, like, it's really hard right now is really hard. And I hope everybody just goes easy on themselves. Right?

Jennica Grienke: 42:30

I have a Can I say something? Or did you want that to close?

James Avramenko: 42:33

No, no, please.

Jennica Grienke: 42:35

I just wanted to say, um, I wrote a few talking points for my boss this week. And one of them was a toast. I will I wanted to write a toast. And it was so hard to like, find something positive. In the light of everything. Like you're, you're saying, you know, like, it's a really weird year. And I stumbled upon this quote, it's from Shakespeare, I'm sorry. But it says it's, it's from Twelfth night. And if you're familiar, it's when the Duke is sort of forced to leave the comforts of the city and His Royal Castle, etc. And he's in a more rural lifestyle. That's not the word. That's not the correct word. But whatever rustic pastoral is the right word. And so this is a quote from something he says so. So please join me in raising your glasses. Wait that's what I wrote. He wrote, "and this our life exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books, in Brookes, sermons in stones, and the good in everything."

James Avramenko: 44:10

And that's it. Of course, a special thank you to Jennica for coming on the show. I love you and I am very blessed that you have decided to let me fart near you for the remainder of our lives. If you like this episode, in particular, I have some very exciting news for you. Jennica and I will be launching our own separate podcast in the new year called Raised by the Movies. We watch old movies from our youth, and then discuss how it has ruined our adult hoods. The first season is already almost entirely recorded. We watched the renaissance of Disney from The Little Mermaid to Tarzan it's super fun light hearted exploration of growing up and the culture that disfigured our brains. And you know what? I think you're gonna love it, so keep your eyes peeled for that. If you'd like to support this show, don't forget to review the episode. Give it a five star and help me out. You can always find me at friendlesspod@gmail.com. Or on all social medias at friendlesspod, you can also still buy my ebook butthead still for sale. Check that out at friendlesspod.com. If you've been dying to support the show in a more ongoing way. You're finally in luck. Starting in the new year, I will be launching a Patreon at long last. I'm already prepping all kinds of fun goodies, exclusive interviews and content as well as all sorts of other surprises, you really won't want to miss out. So just keep your eyes open for that. And that's it for me for this year. Fuck you, 2020. I'm taking the next two weeks off, but I will be back January 12 with a fresh batch of interviews. The first one is actually going to be with my older sister Lisa, you won't want to miss that one. You can hear all about what a little demon I was growing up. It's going to be a ton of fun. I'm wishing you all a very, very happy holiday. I know it's gonna be a weird one. But just stick it out. We're gonna get through this. I'm wishing you a happy new year. And I will see you then. But of course that is then this is now. So for now. I'll just say I love you and I will catch you soon. Fun and safety y'all