Friendless
Are you paying attention? James Avramenko (writer, poet, teacher) is trying to. Friendless is a podcast about paying attention — to yourself, to the people around you, and to the ideas and conversations that help you make sense of being a person. Some weeks that looks like a practical skills episode on emotional regulation, how to actually listen, or the slow work of knowing yourself better. Some weeks it's an honest conversation with a guest, recorded live at an indie bookstore in Vancouver. An engaging and honest look at connection, intimacy, and self-compassion — minus the wellness-industry bullshit. Fun and safety, Sweet Peas!
A podcast exploring connection & self-discovery
Friendless
Friendless is a thought-provoking podcast hosted by James Avramenko, exploring connection, intimacy, and self-compassion. With honest conversations and practical insights, listeners are invited to pay attention to themselves and the world around them.
Recent Episodes
47
July 7, 2026
Writing from the Scar: Brandi Bird on Poetry, Recovery, and Identity (Live at the Book Warehouse)
Content Note: This episode discusses disordered eating. If you’re in recovery or feeling vulnerable, please prioritise your well-being. This week on a very special episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko sits down with poet Brandi Bird for a deep dive into creativity, recovery, and self-discovery. The conversation explores the messy realities of writing and publishing poetry, the impact of external validation, and the importance of allowing time and distance between lived experience and cre
46
June 23, 2026
Frugality is the best revenge: Steve Burgess on Living Well in Vancouver on Less (Live at the Book Warehouse)
Recorded live at Book Warehouse on Main Street, Vancouver, this episode features author and longtime Tyee columnist Steve Burgess, whose new book Cheapskate in Lotus Land: The Philosophy and Practice of Living Well on a Small Budget is part memoir, part cultural critique, and part philosophical provocation. Steve is a former disc jockey, television host, and film worker who has spent decades writing personal essays — first for the Vancouver Sun and Vancouver Magazine, then at The Tyee, where he
45
June 9, 2026
welcome to the eh team: on canadian humour, identity, and the complicated love of a country (with special guest Charlie Demers)
This week on a very special episode of Friendless, your pal James Avramenko is joined by Charlie Demers. Charlie Demers is a comedian, broadcaster, author, and 20-year veteran of CBC's The Debaters — and somehow all of that is just the warm-up. Recorded live at Book Warehouse on Main Street, this conversation starts with his new Canadian lexicon book The A-Team (a celebration of the words and phrases that mark you as one of us), takes a hard left into French immersion class politics, and ends u
44
May 12, 2026
on belonging, grief, and identity (with special guest Eddy Boudel Tan) Live at the Book Warehouse
What happens when you've spent your whole life fitting a mold — and you finally decide you've had enough? This week, James sits down with Eddy Boudel Tan, Vancouver-born author of The Tiger and the Cosmonaut, recorded live at Book Warehouse on Main Street. In this episode: The experience of being second-generation Chinese Canadian — caught between cultures, between expectations, between versions of yourself What Eddy calls "Asian rage" — the anger that builds when you're expected to minimize y
43
April 28, 2026
so you're no longer mentally ill...(DBT mini-season finale!)
In this final episode of the DBT micro-season, James walks back through the terrain — mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness — not to reteach, but to reflect. What landed. What didn't. What surprised him. And, more importantly, how to actually use any of this in real life without turning it into another productivity project or, worse, becoming a DBT zealot who diagnoses everyone at brunch. Expect a tour back through the season, reflection questions
42
April 24, 2026
Celebrating Independent Bookstore Day (with special guests Cathy Jesson & MLA Christine Boyle)
It's Independent Bookstore Day, and to celebrate, Friendless is doing a double feature — two short conversations recorded at the Bookshelf, both circling the same question: what do bookstores actually do for us that nothing else can? First up is MLA Christine Boyle, BC's Minister of Housing and Municipal Affairs — and a lifelong library and bookstore nerd. We talk about the physical, relational experience you can't get from an online cart, why her 11-year-old plays her like a fiddle every time
41
April 21, 2026
balancing boundaries: the GIVE and FAST approach (DBT mini-season part 8)
There's a version of kindness that isn't actually kindness. It's saying yes when you mean no, showing up depleted and resentful, and building relationships on a quiet lie — the lie that you're fine, that it's all okay, that you have no limits. And the thing about that version of kindness is it always ends the same way: in a blowup, a ghost, or an overcorrection so sharp it takes the whole relationship with it. Episode 8 of the DBT mini-season covers Give and Fast — the two interpersonal skills
40
April 14, 2026
Stop Hinting, Start Asking: The Dear Man Skill for Assertive Communication (DBT mini-season part 7)
Most of us were never taught how to ask for what we need — we were taught how to be nice, how to be agreeable, and how to silently hope the other person would just figure it out. And when they didn't, we either resented them or came in way too hot trying to make up for lost time. In this very special episode, James unpacks interpersonal effectiveness — the DBT module that's less about managing yourself and more about navigating other people, which, let's be honest, is the hard part. He covers h
39
April 7, 2026
A False Sense of Safety: Iona Whishaw on Trust, Community, and the Lies We Tell Ourselves (Live at the Book Warehouse)
What does it take to truly belong somewhere — and what happens when you didn't know that's what you needed? This week on Friendless, James sits down with Iona Whishaw — bestselling author of the Lane Winslow Mystery series — for a live conversation at the Book Warehouse on Main Street in Vancouver, BC. Her newest novel, A False and Fatal Claim, is the backdrop for a wide-ranging discussion about identity, deception, community, and the surprising things we discover about ourselves when we stop ru
38
March 31, 2026
when your emotions are lying to you (and what to do instead) DBT mini-season pt.6
Your feelings are real. But what if acting on them is making things worse? In this episode of Friendless, host James Avramenko continues the DBT series with three tools for navigating emotions without being controlled by them. We cover Opposite Action — the skill for when your emotion is justified, but the urge it's driving you toward would damage something you care about. We look at Problem Solving — for when the emotion does fit the facts and there's something concrete you can actually do. And
Recent Blog Posts
May 31, 2023
Have you been a good friend?
What makes a good friend? This has been the core question of my ongoing podcast (read: freelance sociology project) “Friendless”. Lately, however, I’ve been re-examining the philosophy behind this question. There are themes that come up almost eve…
About the Host
James Avramenko
James Avramenko is the creator and host of Friendless. He is a multi-disciplinary artist, working in publishing, theatre, visual, and audio mediums. His work has been published in Geist, SledgeHammer Lit, and Monster Monthly. He dreams of someday writing movie novelizations.