Angus Wilson (transcript)

Angus Wilson

Angus Wilson, James Avramenko

James Avramenko 00:00
Friendless is presented by the Saskatchewan Podcast Network. My sweet babies. We are back. It is Friendless another episode of the only podcast about me your host James Avramenko losing all my Facebook friends one hour at a time. This week. I unfriend Angus Wilson. Angus is a musician hailing from Calgary, that’s where I met him. He’s gone through California and is currently based out of Nashville. We talked about all kinds of fun stuff, the state of COVID in the United States, the kind of people who are in high school, spoiler, assholes, approaching relationships with generosity, and how to hold on to the right people in your life. If you stick around to the end of the episode, I’ve got some really fun updates about the future of friendless. But that is then, this is now so let’s just leave it there. For now, let’s jump right into my interview with Angus Wilson, here on friendless? Do you get that feeling when when like, you know, you’ve got all these friends on Facebook, and there’s all these people who you love, and they’re from your past, and you have all these great moments and memories with them, but you almost like, it’s almost like, we have to have a reason to reach out to somebody you can’t just like, it’s weird to just say hi, right? You know, it’s weird to just like, be friendly, somehow that’s a threat. So instead, you have to have like, an excuse to say hello, you know, and so this show is such a great excuse to be like, all I’ve wanted to do for 15 years is see how Angus is doing?

Angus Wilson 02:01
Well, likewise, brother, it’s really, really good to hear from you. And I appreciate you having me on. I think that’s I think that’s also something that’s really beautiful about this age of technology, you know, there’s so much shade being thrown at, you know, Facebook, and you know, these social media platforms, they’re really eating up so many people’s like brainwaves. And I definitely I definitely resonate, understand that. But there’s a beauty in the fact that Yeah, like before social media, these types of relationships are very, very well could be relationships that just sort of like slipped through the cracks and 10 years, 15 years ago, go by, and I wouldn’t know what the hell you’re up to. But we get to keep in touch with each other. And how cool is it that like, after 15 years from graduating high school, we get to catch up on a podcast, man, I love technology.

James Avramenko 02:45
Absolutely. It is that funny. It’s almost like, you know, it’s because it’s the whole thing about like, it’s just a tool and what it what it what’s more important is how you use this tool, you know, like, like, the fact of the matter is, you’re absolutely right, we could use it for absolute connection and all and good. And instead, I think we more err on the side of like, I’m just going to Doom scroll for a while, and then I’m going to look at photos of puppies and and then I’m going to call it a day and then I’m going to stare at my Netflix for the rest of the night.

Angus Wilson 03:13
It’s also like, I think it also gives people a sort of this it can be a negative in in a way in terms of like it almost hampers relationships when people think that it’s just enough to like, like a photo. And that’s like, that’s like your connection with somebody and you end up that ends up sort of being your communication and there’s not any real like connection reaching out. And I think it’s so important, I think actually, the pandemic like COVID once everybody sort of shut down, I I zoomed with more people and FaceTime with more friends than I have in five years during that during that two months locked down where I was at. And so it is and I just realized it’s really important that we continue to stay connected especially with those that we love and you know, for me it’s they’re all over the all over the country at this point. So

James Avramenko 03:14
yeah, well and so this is this is actually where I want to jump into because you’re you’re all over the place. It’s fascinating getting to watch sort of where your life has been taking you through this time because you know, what I’d like to hear is sort of because right now you’re in Nashville,right?

Angus Wilson 04:21
Yeah, Nashville, Tennessee. Yeah.

James Avramenko 04:23
Fuck yeah, that’s awesome. And, and, and how, like, how did you go from Calgary to Nashville? I realized that’s like, you know, I you know, I get it. That’s a massive window but like, but, but what is that thread that takes you there?

Angus Wilson 04:37
Yeah, man from Calgary Nashville. That sounds like a book. I’ve had a pretty eclectic life for sure over the last, especially last five years, but I’m a you know, a musician and currently work as a producer, for the most part and work with artists. And I think you know, I’ve always had a bit of an ethos around independent art keeping art authentic. And really, there’s a therapy therapy that happens a health kind of side of musicians being able to express without having to change themselves and, you know, get a boob job, you know, change their name, just so that people will listen to their shit, you know. So I actually spent the last four years in California I moved from from Calgary to Southern California, in 2016. And I lived and started a company called music house, which was a you know, on the outside, it looked like a record label, really, what it was, was a an artist, artist development company, and we were merged with a tech company. So I had a recording studio down there, I worked with tons of different artists. And for the most part, you know, as an executive in the company, pretty much I produced music for a living, I just work out of the studio, which was a has been a dream of mine forever. And I’ve always wanted to live in California, there’s always a bit of a tug for me down there, and I got the opportunity. And I was in. I was in Cochrane, at the time, actually, I had a, I had a music venue, and a guitar store in Cochrane and I was running a couple of different music venues as artistic director, and working with artists like literally just kind of one on one coaching. Starting to get into producing a little bit, I think I called myself a producer. But that really, that really got put to the test when I when I kind of, I mean, it’s a much deeper story. But I resigned, packed everything into a car, I called it jumping and growing wings on the way down, and I moved down to California, and took a pretty big risk. And, um, it was one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made to just kind of risk everything. So I spent the last four years in California, and then right before COVID, I actually exited music house and I we kind of got it to a point where I felt like we had kind of served what I came down there to do. And we It was almost starting to move in a direction that I didn’t necessarily see as being an integrity to why we started in the first place. And it came from this, it came right during the information that we were actually getting defunded from the investors that had actually funded the last couple of years of our of our time there. And that which or not, I mean, you know, that’s that happens in business. It’s, it’s pretty par for the course. And it came at a time when I think everybody was kind of looking at the company in a way of like, you know, how is this scalable? How are we really going to do it? For myself, it was just so much work and and I decided to just kind of take what I called sort of an artistic sabbatical and definitely during COVID, and like the Black Lives Matter movement in the fires and everything. I mean, there’s a mass exodus of people leaving California right now and that wasn’t necessarily my decision. But I was called to kind of get back to the woods a little bit and go explore a little bit and spend some time really producing and writing again, and not as much in the executive chair. And so I moved to Asheville, North Carolina for six weeks, I moved there in July, I left my my house by the beach and my recording studio and everything and I moved to a little cabin with my with my buddy Adam, Rola. He’s an artist. And we spent six weeks out there, and then I actually so wrapping up this long story

James Avramenko 05:13
No, no, it’s great.

Angus Wilson 08:32
I actually have a friend named Lindsay Lindsay L, who I played guitar with for about four or five years back back home in Canada. And she moved to Nashville and blew up in the country music industry. She’s actually had like the top album in the country. You know, Calgary girl, incredible guitar player. And she’s she’s had some pretty major success here in the country music industry and I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. And so my buddy Adam and I did a little road trip I went up to West Virginia, where my father’s from and saw like my grandmother’s grave this whole pilgrimage was really really cool. I’ve been to this house in since I was probably 14. And on the way through, I was like we should stop in Nashville and spend a few days in Nashville and go check out the city plus I got a buddy out there named Lindsay would love to see her It’s been a while and we ended up hanging out with Lindsay for a couple of days. here and there. And Adam, my good my one of my best friends on the planet. And Lindsay ended up connecting and they’re now dating. And so we were supposed to we were in Asheville at this time. Adams experiencing this new relationship with one of my girl I consider like a sibling, which is really cool. And Adam and I were supposed to be on a plane to Bali for September and October doing a show called The Art of choosing love out there. Kind of a docu series and we are going to be in Bali for two months and then Australia for two months. And then we found out that both those borders were staying shut until 2021. So we kind of like landed at this place. We’re like, well, what the fuck you wanna do now?

James Avramenko 10:12
Right? Yeah.

Angus Wilson 10:14
And we decided, you know, Adam was in this budding relationship. And we’d like y’all, if you want to go be with the girl, let’s roll the Nashville and spend up and a few months in Nashville and just see where it goes. And so here we are in Music City. I’ve never, never in my life would have thought that I’d be moving to Nashville, Tennessee, but I love the South. And I really love this city. I like the difference. I do miss California every once in a while.

James Avramenko 10:39

Angus Wilson 10:40
And I’m really feeling kind of at home here in the south. And there’s a lot of cool elements. So that’s what brought me to Nashville.

James Avramenko 10:48
You know it’s funny because, actually, I always sort of had it in my mind that you were kind of destined for Nashville. I always, like even even like, for years, I’ve always been sort of surprised that you didn’t go there, you know, because you always like and I, you know, I like the way I sort of always remember your music. I always feel like yeah, that’s gonna that’s gonna explode in Nashville, like, get there. Go there, right?

Angus Wilson 11:14
I had I had that, that California dream and thing, you know, I had, I spent a lot of time you know, in LA and working with, you know, different different writers and that sort of thing. And I think that, like, you know, you kind of get drawn to one area, right. And whether it was New York or California, or Nashville, these music scenes. La is incredible. You know, I love that city. Really, and it’s, it’s always struggling, and it’s always beautiful, right? There’s this real like, light and dark to that city. And I’m gonna, like, agree with you now that I’ve been in Nashville. For a couple months. I’m like, I’ve actually only been here a month and maybe maybe four or five weeks. Yeah. But now that I’m here, I’m like, why did this take me so long? Like, yeah, I’m kidding, man. There’s, there’s, this is Music City. There’s musicians all over the place. I’m an entrepreneur. So I love the grind. And it’s really inspiring to see musicians that are out grinding every single day for this for this dream, it’s, you know, there’s lots of other things we could be doing right now, but pushing for that.

James Avramenko 12:25
Now, how are like, how is that adapting in with, with everything that’s happening with COVID? I mean, you know, in the States, I mean, you know, the states is in this whole other realm of existence and the rest of the world, right? And so it’s like, it’s a really hard thing to navigate as an outsider. I can’t imagine how to navigate that as incited of it, you know, and yeah, and and so what, what is it like, like, is it? You know, is it really volatile? Is it really, what it you know, inviting, like, what’s going on down there?

Angus Wilson 12:59
Well, it’s, like, from a music from a musician’s standpoint, I mean, COVID had a huge effect on especially LA, especially Southern California and New York. But really, this whole country was affected in ways by the music, the music scene, has been crippled by it, in a way, I mean, and I really, I’m an optimist, I really do see a bright future ahead once things kind of whatever normal looks like, after this, but I know so many musicians and have worked with so many people at venues that the touring is their, their bread and butter, you know,

James Avramenko 13:38
the only way to survive in a lot of ways.

Angus Wilson 13:40
It’s the only way that they make music you know, and error that they make living and artists that literally like I said about the grind that gig every single day, and we can still get twice a day and especially here in Nashville, but you know, I got you know, actually just released a song today with a buddy named Adam Knight. And you know, Adam, and I met in San Diego, and he played every single day, and then all of a sudden COVID hits and it’s like, Where’s the next paycheck coming from? So that’s, it’s always been a risk of being an artist. And making living is like, your next paycheck comes from like, what you create, and when we had the, you know, the rug pulled out from us. Or and I don’t actually, I’m very blessed. I don’t get to lump myself into that, because I didn’t make my living through through touring or playing or that. But I know so many people that have been heavily affected by it.

James Avramenko 14:40
Having grown up, you know, having met in high school, and that being so far away. What is your most vivid memory of our friendship from back in the day?

Angus Wilson 14:51
Yeah, that’s such a good question. Because, I mean, I remember you and I always connected. We laughed a lot. Yeah. I think we did I think we were in drama together now. You didn’t go to you didn’t go to Montgomery, junior high. Did you?

James Avramenko 15:05
I didn’t know we met in high school late, even in high school. I think we didn’t meet Yeah, up until 11 or 12 kind of thing.

Angus Wilson 15:12
Yeah, so we met through like drama and, and I, you know, I would say art, you know, I just like the the desire to just like goof off and create instead of sit in, you know, social studies or whatever. So I remember a lot of a lot of laughter, I remember that we always have somewhat of a social butterfly, and we kind of hung out in different crews. But, but you and I always kind of like connected and we’d always hang out in the hallways and even saw each other at a couple parties. And I just always remember a big smile on your face. And you always, always put a big one on mine.

James Avramenko 15:48
That’s so sweet. It’s It’s so funny, because that’s, that’s so similar to how I remember you. It’s like, I always felt a bit of a I always felt a connection with you because of that same sort of like social butterfly-ness like I never felt like I necessarily stuck in one single group, I was always sort of bouncing around depending on you know, what, what group what, what class it was, or whatever it was. And it was always a relief when, you know, I was in different groups, and you’d be there too. It was like, okay, at least we’ve got this kind of anchor here somewhere, right. But

Angus Wilson 16:19
and high school is such a world away for me, like, I mean, I think I’m probably not alone in this, but I feel like a completely different human being, you know, looking back at that kid that was in high school, so and there’s almost something like, even like, deeper to it, where I, I don’t have many memories of my time in high school. And I don’t know what that is. But I really, to an astonishing standpoint, don’t remember a lot of my high school experience. So, but but I but I do remember my friends. And I do remember that people that that I spent the time with down there. And you were one of them.

James Avramenko 16:22
Well, you know, I think that that makes sense, though, because I do think that i i think that people whose best part of their life as high school probably shouldn’t be trusted, but but

Angus Wilson 17:15
they become police officers.

James Avramenko 17:17
Right. Exactly. Fucking cops. But, but also I think, you know, we’re children right. I think I think that our our culture fetishize his high school far too much in in media and movies and all these things. And I think it really fetishized is the concept of like, the most important years of your life. I don’t think they are I think their formative years. I think they’re, they’re important in the sense that they shape who you become. But I don’t think that it’s I don’t think High School is who you are. I think it’s where you where you start to figure out that you don’t know who you are, you know, and, and so I think it’s not, it’s not imperative to treasure High School.

Angus Wilson 17:59
Fuck High School. I’m not going back though real.

James Avramenko 18:02
You know, actually, that also plays into the other thing I was thinking of earlier in the interview when you were talking about connecting and, and how it’s creating the potential for relationships that have never existed before. And it’s like, one thing that I think is amazing about social media is it has completely eliminated the need for high school reunions. You’ll never right, because it’s like, I already know everything. I already know you you became a loser and you became a cop and you’re an asshole still. And you know, like, I don’t need I don’t need to drink in a gymnasium to find that out anymore.

Angus Wilson 18:38
What an interesting reunion we would have from Bowness High School, I would feel so out of place, bro.

James Avramenko 18:44
Oh, man. Well, they had one. You know, they had one. I think Mark Eshelman. Right. What’s his name? Yeah. Yeah. He tried to coordinate one. I think at that.

Angus Wilson 18:56
Yeah, I think there was one being coordinated at Shanks or something.

James Avramenko 19:00
Yeah, they like, ended up doing it at a restaurant.

Angus Wilson 19:03
I don’t remember, I can’t remember why I didn’t go to that or if it even happened or whatever. But Mark is a really good friend of mine still. Remember when he was doing that?

James Avramenko 19:12
But it’s like, but it’s like, it was a like, and this is no shade on Mike. But like, it was a dumb idea. You know, like, nobody wants to go hang out at Shanks with a bunch of people they haven’t seen in 10 years, you know,

Angus Wilson 19:26
especially like people that have kids and that sort of thing. I think that that’s what it came down to like people were like, I’ve children. You know, it’s late and the school nights. Yeah, yeah. I don’t think you could drag me out. To be honest. It’s

James Avramenko 19:41
Not a chance. No, I ended up I think I got really drunk in honor of it that night, but but I didn’t go.

Angus Wilson 19:57
Who were a couple of people that use still stay, not only just connected with but you still consider like a close friend in your life that comes came from high school.

James Avramenko 20:08
If I’m being honest, no one. Yeah, I don’t, I don’t. Like, I don’t have a single friend from high school that I stay in regular contact with anymore. Um, for a while I did. But those, those kind of fizzled away and, you know, for any number of reasons, right, but, but yeah, no, I actually, I’ve actually been trying to rebuild some of those connections. But

Angus Wilson 20:36
This is a good way to do it,

James Avramenko 20:37
yeah, you know, and, and, you know, I’m having people from high school on the show all throughout this kind of new season of it. And, but, ya know, I, you know, I it’s actually it’s been one of the sort of, it’s been one of the sort of sadnesses of my life is that I did lose, lose contact with a lot of really dear and very treasured friends. From from that period of my life.

Angus Wilson 20:59
Yeah. I resonate with that. Yeah. I mean, there’s actually been in another country.

James Avramenko 21:06
Yeah. I mean, and, you know, what, yeah, well, that’s just it, you know, I move around a lot. And, you know, obviously, I stay in Canada, it’s not, it’s not as extreme as a new country, but, but it is, it’s, it’s, it’s the same in that it remains just as hard to stay in touch with people, it’s still work to stay in touch with somebody, you know, and, and, and, again, it loops back to this thing about the social media where it’s like, yes, you can stay in touch, but you still have to do it, you know, you it’s not just an implicit thing, you know, and so, yeah, so you know, there’s, there’s a couple people I’m working on getting better at reconnecting with but it’s, it’s, it’s a pain in the ass man.

Angus Wilson 21:45
Also, it’s like, you know, it sounds, it comes off cold, but there’s something almost monastic about really being aware of where you are dedicating your energy, you know, and when you, I mean, we’ve got, I think this is even like a thing. But we’ve got like, enough, really enough, like bandwidth for like, four or five good friends. You know, like, if you’ve got, if you’ve got dreams, if you’ve got a job, if you’ve got a family, like, at the end of the day, like you don’t have time for a 20 person, friend group, and going out every and going and meeting up in these big groups, like you actually, as an adult, get to start focusing your energy in different areas. And I think it’s actually like, sort of an inward exploration, when we feel like when we feel like, oh, man, I missed that person, or I missed that group of people, you know, I should reach out, really, what what is going on in there is not, it’s not necessarily a guilt thing, it’s actually more of, like, we want to be connected, because maybe we’re all scared to be alone. And like, we all have these, like fears that come up, we’re like, oh, that was such a good friendship, I don’t want to lose that thing. So I should reach out, when we make decisions out of fear, we actually start to, like, invest our energy in areas that aren’t necessarily going to serve us going forward. So it’s like this minimalistic thing, unfortunately, always, also comes with allowing, not cutting, but allowing relationships, like, like a river, you know, just seeing, you know, seeing this log going by, and just like watching it very gently, allowing it to just float down the river, until it crosses the bend. And give thanks for that little log, give thanks for the experience, good, thanks for that relationship, you know, but allow it to, to flow down the river in grace without letting it clog up the river, you know, cuz

James Avramenko 23:37
that’s just it. And, and because the other thing too, is that, you know, friendships, as with everything are meant to end, you know, like, it’s, it’s supposed to end you’re supposed to move on, it’s good. to, to not hold on to these things. Like, if, if the relationship continues to serve you, then that’s obviously something but if it’s not, then it’s so okay, to let it go. You know, and, and I think I think, I mean, you know, again, it’s the, it’s the thought the thought behind this show is like, I don’t have the ability to be as good a friend as I wish I could be to, you know, 400 500 people, that’s just not, it’s just not in you know, and and, and so, I don’t want to create the illusion that I can do that. And instead, I’m going to do, I’m going to have the best hour I can with each person and that’s going to be what I can give, you know, and then and then everything else after that is cake. You know, like because then it’s like, maybe we do see each other again, and it’s awesome. Maybe we never speak again. And that’s awesome too. You know, like it’s there’s nothing there’s no qualitative assessment on any of this, you know. Savings checkings gic budget, RESP, RRSP TFSA Say, mutual funds, credit score, emergency funds, variable versus fixed rates, compound interest, retirement, the list goes on and on. It’s time to make sense of it all connects this credit union, they want to help. Financial literacy is a critical life skill, giving you the knowledge and confidence to make smart, responsible decisions about your money. Visit connexus money to find expert advice, tips and solutions for all life stages and events and increase your financial literacy knowledge and confidence today. What do you think it takes to be a good friend in 2020? And now I mean, almost 2021?

Angus Wilson 25:52
Yeah, that’s I mean, I love that question. Because we are at a point, obviously, where everybody’s been isolated, you know?

James Avramenko 26:03

Angus Wilson 26:04
So friends, and what like, what the word friend really means is, it’s so important to understand like, what type of relationship you really want to have in your life. I see obviously, I see us all as kind of a global community global family. And, and right now, I think support is the most important thing. And you can see that somebody is everybody’s in need of support in some way. And so for me, what I love what I love about some of my friends even back home, you know, one of my best friends Kyle folate, who we went to high school way I remember him. Yeah, him and I still stay in touch, he’s got his third little one on the way and, you know, this lives a domesticated, you know, very beautiful life with his, with his sweetheart, in silver springs, you know? Like, yeah, so it’s, it’s just funny and, and he’ll pick up the phone, just randomly every once in a while and just FaceTime me, you know, it’s always around the same time, you know, sometimes when he’s driving home from work, or whatever, and, and we’ll just check in, and it’s short, it’s brief. But I can expect that if you know, a few weeks haven’t gone or have gone by and haven’t heard from him, I’m going to be getting a call from him. Sometimes I’ll call him. And he won’t call me back for QE, Sometimes he’ll call me and I won’t call him back for a month, you know, but there’s no pressure on that relationship. And it’s always supportive when it comes in. And I think that, for me would be an example of, of being a good friend is like, let’s drop the expectations on people, let’s drop the expectations on our relationship relationships, those expectations just again, to come out of this fear of need this fear of scarcity, you know, and I think that when we allow ourselves and our friends and our partners to just go and navigate life in this way, and know that they’re going to come back into into that fold, when the time is right for them, instead of getting mad and cutting people off, and blah, blah, blah, it’s just it’s time for us to revisit what relationships really look like. And I think that, at the heart of that is allowing ourselves to grow into the best version of ourselves. And if you can be a support for that, then you’re a great friend, if you can support somebody in being the best version of themselves. That’s, that’s the essence, I think of relationship in, you know, whatever spectrum you know, from romantic relationships, to business relationships, to friendships, and I’ve always made a point of always working with friends, everybody says, don’t work with your friends, well, I don’t know who I would hang out with, if I didn’t, I love, love, love everybody that I work with. And I love everybody that I went into business in California with one of my best friends at the time. And he was like family, he always will be and, and so we’ve I’ve always maintained that, you know, your relationships, and friendships are as important in terms of building as any other relationship that you have.

James Avramenko 29:00
Um, you know, I love the idea of, of, it’s about releasing expectation, right, it’s the idea of, of, like, taking away it. You know, I think so many of our relationships inadvertently get based on sort of proving what a good friend you are. And I think what you know, and I think what you’re saying and I agree with is like, releasing that part, and and, and, you know, just being supportive instead. I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s Yeah, god damn, yeah, that’s exactly right.

Angus Wilson 29:28
If you have to, if you have to prove anything, it just means that there’s a fear that you’re not you’re not that, you’re not capable of that. And I think that if you feel like you’re having to prove anything, I think you should always look at why. Why has proven this am I? or is that taking? Is that something that’s actually not me? Like, I’m gonna prove that I’m responsible? And it’s like, well, maybe you’re not responsible.

James Avramenko 29:49
Yeah, yeah. Maybe that’s super cool. Like, maybe you should just engage and allow yourself to not be responsible. Like, maybe that’s fine.

Angus Wilson 29:58
Yeah, totally. You want to grow into being responsible, like and responsible is just like this one right word, though shot at this. Yeah. But if you want to grow, grow into that thing that you’re trying to prove yourself to be, the first thing that you should do is be really honest about whether you are or not. That’s the only way that you’re actually going to open up space to grow. Like, if you’re like, I’m responsible, I’m super responsible, I’m gonna prove you’re gonna spend most of your time trying to prove something, then realizing that maybe there’s an area for growth in that area that you’re trying to prove, you know, so it’s about humility. All right, I want I know that you’ve traveled around a lot. I know you haven’t spent your entire time in Calgary. I want to know, and just, I mean, my questions are more just like catch up and wanting to hear kind of your story, but but I want to know, where you where you have lived, that’s been most serving kind of James, you know, who you are, where have you landed? And why was that area, something that felt really supportive to you at that time of life? Where you’re just like, Fuck, yes, this is home. For me, this is rent spending, what’s the most interesting place that you’ve landed?

James Avramenko 31:13
You know, man, it’s funny because I, you know, I, I, I don’t know, if I’ve found that exact spot, I think I’ve found little, like, I feel like I found like months in certain spots for it, but I get to actually find the city. I keep searching for it. You know, I think when I you know, the last time we saw each other, you know, 15 years ago, when, when I you know, when we graduated high school, and I moved to Victoria, that was really where I, I wanted to be at the time, but five years after that, it was really, really destructive, you know, mentally and emotionally. For me, it ended up being kind of the, you know, I had to get out of there because it was just the wrong place to be. And same thing with, you know, when I when I went to Vancouver, same thing, it was like, I arrived, and I was like, it was a breath of fresh air. And I was excited. And it was new. And then again, a couple years in, it all went to shit, you know? So, you know, I think I’m actually still searching for it. You know. Same thing, even here, you know, being in Saskatoon, I think there’s a lot of really beautiful qualities to the city. And I think there’s a lot of good and a lot of potential in it. And then there’s a lot that is really, really toxic and really underhanded and, and I want nothing to do with you know, and so it’s, it’s tough, but then also we’re in a pandemic, right. And, and, you know, my wife and I, we keep it really locked down. Like we, you know, we have, we have family that we that we need to, you know, be be out. Exactly. So we, we keep it really locked down. So, you know, it’s been a real thanks, but it’s like, it’s been a really lonely year because of that, you know, and, and it’s made made this whole this whole thing that much harder. Like, I’m, I’m lucky in that I have a wife who is my absolute like ride or die, you know, so it’s like, yeah, it makes it makes that, you know, easier, I guess is the word but it feels it almost doesn’t feel expressive enough for what it what it is. But, but yeah, you know, I think I’m still looking for it. And, and that’s,

Angus Wilson 33:23
I like that, to be honest. Like, if I because I think that that is it’s this idea that I think brings a lot of unhappiness to people that that there is one place for you that there is and i think i think you answered my question in terms of like, where these different spots actually brought inspiration to your life and where you met them at the time. Yeah, but we I mean, I resonate so much with this even from leaving California, even California bro was Yeah, but one of the most difficult things that I’ve done there’s so much resistance to it. I always said it just feels like breaking up with somebody that you’re in love with and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the release. I got I got a roll. No but but we to be really aware of when something even in even a relationship you know, like we were talking about friendship, but places we end up having a relationship with places right with a house or you know with a city or an area of the world that their their time passes as well. I really believe that and when we hold on to something that is like me holding on to like California you holding on to like Victoria because you’re like ah, but I like this place or, or whatever the reason. I think that there’s you know, even spiritually there’s there’s a way that things kind of move out of our lives, that until we’re ready and like willing to let go and just say yes. There’s a growth that’s trying to happen that you’re stunting, you’re hindering by holding on to what was there Right. So like, I think that I think that, you know, I am a spiritual person, I do think that like, we are we are not guided, we’re not like controlled, but there’s these beautiful gentle nudging. It’s like a river, you know that if you’re able to if you’re able to be in flow with and not hold on to the side of the bank because you think it’s your spot, you have no idea what’s coming, what’s coming. What’s coming down the down the way for you. And I think it’s really important for us to be open to that, you know,

James Avramenko 35:30
fuck man Angus we could I, we could talk for a whole other podcast

Angus Wilson 35:36
anytime, brother, it’s been a pleasure to chat with you. Just personally, it’s been a pleasure to catch up. And I just do really appreciate you thinking of me and having me on this podcast.

James Avramenko 35:45
Yeah, man, I, ya know, I just, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s one of the really beautiful experiences of this show that I’m, I’m really grateful. You know, this sounds weird to say, but it’s like, I’m grateful that I’ve set up this opportunity for myself to experience this, it’s in that like, in that, you know, I’m somebody who will, really, I’ll trap myself in my own mind. And, and I’ll trap myself in all the thoughts of why I don’t deserve this or why these people don’t like me or whatever it might be, you know, all those really like negative intrusive thoughts. And, and to have the opportunity to catch up with you even just for an hour, you know, you are someone who, who I treasure as a friend from my past and i and i think nothing but just these glowing happy memories of you and and, and I’m so I’m just so happy to see you doing so well. And you know, your photos, you’re smiling and you’re in the sun, and it’s just it’s a it’s a beautiful thing to to witness people living well, and living happy, you know, and, and I’m just really grateful. I’m really grateful that we got to know each other at some point in our existence. Yeah.

Angus Wilson 36:57
Absolutely, man, I want to echo that. I just really am grateful for the relationship that we got to have this friendship as a friendship, you know, back in the back in the day back in our other life. Yeah. And, you know, there’s a song called interior atmosphere that john mayer does. And I’ve always loved this line. A watch your life play out in pictures from afar, you know, and that was a statement of the of the times, you know, where no matter where we are on the planet, no matter what we’re doing, we get to watch each other’s lives play out in these pictures from across the world or across the country or even across the city. And we still don’t have that connection. So kudos to you for creating this podcast and this idea around just, you know, real connection, even just for an hour and a touch base, because it’s, it is definitely check it out again, and I’m really grateful to have been able to click to chat and tell my story. And obviously, I would, I would love to continue telling it. If you’d have me back I got lots more to dive in lots of stories.

James Avramenko 38:00
We got one last thing that we got to do before I let you go though, so I’m gonna pull up your Facebook. And here we go. All right, Angus Wilson. We? Oh, it’s thinking. It’s really thinking about this. It doesn’t want to let me There we go. We are no longer Facebook friends.

Angus Wilson 38:21
All right.

James Avramenko 38:22
So good riddance. And that’s it. Thank you once more to Angus for coming on the show. He is just such a great guy to chat with. And be sure to check out everything he’s doing down in Nashville. As always, if you like the show, please tell your friends. Look. I’m not Jeremy Renner. I can’t make an app that people just start using and give me money for. There are very, very few people on this earth who are actually aware that I exist which pay look, no real complaint about that. But if you think there’s someone who should know about friendless, only you can tell them about it. Share the links, like the posts, subscribe wherever you can. Most importantly, be sure to rate and review this episode on Apple podcasts. If you give it a five star review, you’re just gonna feel so good about doing something good. Don’t forget to send me your answers to the question. What does it take to be a good friend in 2021 you can email me at friendless or find me on all social media platforms at Fitness pod or my personal is an average mango and some really fun news and in what might feel like they I’ve moved for some of my older listeners. I’m working on a website reboot. I’m finally biting the bullet and investing in Squarespace. And let me tell you, it is shaping up real nice. Lots of goodies gonna be coming along with the site launch, new writing new merge, all kinds of fun stuff. I’m really hoping it’ll be live sooner than later, but I will keep you posted on that. That’s it for me this week. Next week, I am going to be having a absolutely lovely interview with an old coworker of mine from my halcyon days working at American Eagle, Hannah wells. It’s gonna be a fantastic episode. You cannot miss it. But that’s next week. This is now Take care of yourselves and each other. Fun and safety, y’all

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